Following a Tuesday round of golf with dignitaries from all around New Jersey, the former president demanded a recount of everyone’s golf strokes. It became apparent to the former president that he was losing the game after he lost 5 strokes and a sand wedge to a pesky sand trap on hole 10. On an unrelated note, a golfer playing the same course with a different group suddenly fell and was taken to the hospital after being hit by a golf club that is speculated to have fallen out of an airplane. Police are investigating. A bystander told us that he saw his buddy go down right after hearing someone shout, “Well that’s just tremendous! Another trap!”. As rescuers arrived, the bystander said that he saw a giant “S” forming on his buddy’s forehead. Authorities are now trying to locate the plane.