Ted Cruz’s Best Friend Is a Snake?

Harry Cruz

On Monday, Ted Cruz’s slip of the tongue spilled the beans on who his best friend is, a snake. On condition of anonymity, a high ranking turtle-like conservative senator stated that Ted shared with him that his best friend is in fact a snake named Harry. Ted said that Harry and he have so much in common that it was just a natural kinship that formed. When asked for comment, Ted said, “That is perpossssteroussss!”

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