Both sides of highly contentious groups have done the impossible and agreed on a solution to both abortion and gun control. Martha Washington, a 2nd amendment activist, said, “It’s about time!” Jefferson Peabody, a pro-spousal infidelity advocate, said, “This is liberating!”
The details of the deal are still materializing. But from an inside source, we are able to provide a sneak peak to our readers.
Abortion – The new law “aims” to bring balance. It will limit the number of abortions to the number of people killed by guns each year. We caught up with a pro-abortion activist who said, “I’m sorry, but I cannot talk now. I need to go buy a gun.” Also, there was some concern about whether or not some senators would need to rear their illegitimate children. When asked, senator Ty Needic (R) said that the new law has a provision that women will have unfettered access to abortions, when accompanied by a consenting man. Furthermore, Mr. Needic said that he interviewed several rapist friends of his and that they were all satisfied. A diverse panel of men reviewed this new law to ensure that it properly articulated womens’ needs.
Gun Control – To address the threat of mass shootings, the new laws will restrict the number of shootings that can take place in any month, by state. Anti-gun-control activists are thrilled that the new laws are centered around placing restrictions on the people, not the guns. Gun-control activists are happy to see any forward progress at all, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.